My love/hate relationships with orange

Here’s my deal: I adore oranges. I can peel a clementine in seconds and I have yet to meet a type of orange I didn’t like.

However, I loathe artificial orange flavors. I hate orange-flavored candy (I used to put all my orange Starbursts in a box outside my dorm room as a free-for-all), I hate orange-flavored medicine, I hate orange-flavored popsicles. The nasty taste of orange-flavored hard candy makes me feel sorry for the poor maligned fruits.
So I was quite pleased when, while browsing “Best of Craigslist,” to find an ad for free orange popsicles, courtesy of someone who hates them as well.

Okay, it’s Craigslist. One day you can have free fill dirt (you haul), the next day it’s tons of moving boxes all in good shape.

Well, today it’s orange popsicles (all in good shape, you haul).

A regular box of popsicles includes cherry (my favorite), grape (so-so) and orange. I don’t like the orange ones. I’m a grown-up and I don’t have to eat them if I don’t want to. On the other hand I can’t bring myself to throw them away and I don’t have children or grandchildren living in the area to give them to (assuming they would like them).

I currently have a bunch of orange popsicles in my freezer. If you want them,, let me know. If you are paranoid about them, you probably shouldn’t be looking for free things on Craigslist in the first place. However, keep in mind they are all “factory sealed” and whoever takes them probably isn’t going to end up on the 6:00 news because they were poisoned to death by orange popsicles.

Someone is going to want these things, so you better hurry. If things work out, maybe we could develop a “popsicles are ready for pickup” relationship whereby I send you an E-mail whenever the freezer overfloweth.


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FAQ:
Q: Are the orange popsicles sugar free?
A: Do I SOUND like someone why buys sugar free popsicles? No, they aren’t.

I hate artificial sweetener and sugar-free sweets too! (Seriously, it’s the most disgusting aftertaste ever.) Someone out there is my tastebud soulmate.

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